A Cowboy for Christmas Read online

  A COWBOY FOR CHRISTMAS

  A Between the Pages Holiday Novella

  Jennie Marts

  Chapter One

  A blast of cold air whooshed in as Holly pushed through the door of the coffee shop. The fragrant scent of roasted coffee beans filled the air, and she stopped to catch her breath as the onslaught of memories washed over her. She hadn’t been in Pleasant Valley Perks in two years. Hadn’t, in fact, been back to her hometown at all. Not since the funeral.

  She’d grown up in Pleasant Valley, a small town nestled against the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. But after Scott died, the memories were just too much for her.

  Her parents had left as well. A year ago, they’d sold everything and headed to Florida. Moved into a retirement home—wait, make that retirement community—leaving her no reason to return. No reason except the list.

  The freaking list.

  Christmas carols played softly as she scanned the coffee shop for Cassie. She spotted the curvy blonde chatting with a cute little old lady and grinned as Cassie saw her and frantically waved from a table near the counter. Crossing the room, she was enveloped in a giant Cassie-hug. Her cousin gave the best hugs, and for just a moment, Holly let herself sink into the comforting embrace.

  “You look great,” she said to her cousin as she stepped back. Cassie wore jeans, boots, and a white turtleneck under a festive red Christmas sweater. Embroidered snowmen carrying presents danced across her ample chest. She smelled like vanilla and cinnamon, and something about being around Cassie always made her feel like she was home.

  Her cousin’s wavy blonde hair was cut in a fashionable pixie style, and her blue eyes were kind and bright. Cassie had always reminded her of Tinkerbell. A slightly older, chunkier Tinkerbell, one who wore Christmas sweaters and made cookies.

  Cassie studied her, and a frown crossed her otherwise happy face. “I wish I could say the same about you. But you look kind of terrible.” She touched her arm gently, her eyes filled with concern. “You’ve lost so much weight, and you look like you still aren’t sleeping.”

  “Well, thanks for that lovely boost of confidence.” Her cousin was several years older and had been mothering her for her entire life. Holly had known Cassie would have a comment about her weight loss, and had tried to wear a bulkier sweater this morning.

  Unfortunately, the generous-sized sweater only emphasized how much weight she’d lost, and she felt like a child playing dress-up in her mother’s clothes. If only her life were that pretend world of tea parties and lipstick and trying to walk in too-big high heels.

  Cassie squeezed her arm and gave her a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. We’ll drink wine and eat chocolate cake while you’re here. That will help with both issues.”

  She’d tried both, but desserts still held no taste for her, and too much wine usually resulted in a restless night’s sleep with an accompanying headache in the morning. She looked around for a distraction. Anything to change the topic of conversation from her problems.

  Holly smiled at the cute older lady that Cassie had been talking to when she’d first walked in. “Hi, I’m Holly.”

  “Oh gosh. Where are my manners?” Cassie asked. “Holly, this is Edna. Edna, this is my cousin Holly.”

  Edna surprised her by pulling her into a hug. The elderly lady was tiny but strong, and she smelled pleasantly like coffee and peppermint. “Good to meet you. Cassie and I are like family too. Well, we’re in a book club, so that’s almost the same.”

  A soft chuckle escaped her. She liked this woman already. “Of course.”

  Edna pulled out a chair and sat down at the next table. “You girls have a lot to catch up on, I’m sure. I’ll let you get to visiting.” She picked up a shiny paperback from the table. “I’m just getting to the good part in our latest book club pick. The main couple just got caught in a rain storm and I predict a steamy shower scene is coming up.” She winked at Holly. “Those are my favorites.”

  Cassie shook her head. “Oh, Edna.” She plopped into her chair and patted the seat next to her. “Sit down. Tell me everything. How does it feel to be home?”

  Holly sighed and eased herself into the chair. “Weird. Lots of memories.”

  Her cousin picked up her hand. “I’m proud of you for doing this. I know this week is going to be hard for you. But you have a lot of good memories here too. I think it’s the right thing to do.” She grinned. “And I’m glad you get to spend Christmas and your birthday here with me.”

  Ugghh. Just thinking about her birthday made her want to crawl under the table and hide. She’d come into the world during a snowstorm on Christmas Eve, and her mom thought a festive name like Holly would be cute. Thanks, Mom.

  She would be thirty this year. A milestone birthday. That’s what her therapist called it. A milestone birthday and a good time to make some lifestyle changes. Hence the list. The freaking list.

  Squeezing Cassie’s hand, she took a deep breath. “Thanks, cuz. I guess it’s time. Scott’s been gone for two years now, and my therapist has informed me that it’s time to rejoin the living.”

  You’re not the one who died. That was Dr. Flynn’s favorite saying. But it wasn’t true. She had died. At least a part of her. The part of her that knew how to laugh and enjoy life. That knew how to take chances and experience joy.

  The old Holly had disappeared the moment that Scott had died. That Holly had been part of HollyandScott. Like they were one word, one unit.

  The new her was just Holly. Singular. Alone. Solitary. The new Holly might as well be dead.

  Cassie nodded. “I agree with her. Being a widow in your twenties has got to be hard. It will probably be the hardest thing of your life. But you still have a life, and I’m glad to hear you’re ready to start living it again.”

  Did she say that? Did she say she was ready? Or did she say her therapist had told her she was ready? She had taken the first steps, though. She’d called Cassie. She’d packed a suitcase and filled her little car with gas and driven to Pleasant Valley. Her hometown. Her roots.

  Which was the first thing on the list. Check.

  “So, tell me about this list.” Cassie nodded encouragement.

  “Dr. Flynn thought we should come up with a list of tasks to help ease me back. To help with accepting the grief and allowing myself to move forward. I have three things on the list. The first is Go Back To Your Roots. That’s why I’m here.” She gave her cousin a little grin. “And to see you, of course.”

  “Did you say something about your roots, dear?” Edna leaned toward their table. “Because that’s something I can help with. I agree they’re a problem. That mousy brown hair color really washes you out. I’ve got a great hairdresser over on Fourth Ave. Her name’s Melissa and she’s a miracle worker with foil and a little color. She’ll fix you right up with some highlights and give you a great cut too—get rid of those nasty split ends.”

  Holly self-consciously touched her hair, which she’d thrown into a haphazard ponytail that morning after her shower. Fixing her hair just hadn’t seemed important. “We didn’t mean those kind of roots.”

  Edna made an apologetic face. “Oh, sorry. But you really should consider some highlights, honey. And a little mascara and lip color go a long way.” She held up her hands in surrender at Cassie’s hard stare. “I’m just sayin’.”

  Why did she think Cassie had been talking to a cute little old lady? This woman might be little, but she was full of spit and vinegar.

  Cassie waved a hand of dismissal at her friend. “Despite her lack of social graces, I think Edna may have a good idea. Maybe you should consider a little makeover. A haircut always makes me feel better. Maybe a new style and color is just the step you need to ease into your fre
sh start. I’ll go with you. We could do manis too. Pamper ourselves a little. What do you think?”

  A new haircut couldn’t hurt. And it was true: she hadn’t used mascara, or any makeup, for so long that it had probably all expired as it lay forgotten in the bottom of a bathroom drawer. If she didn’t feel better, she could at least look better. She nodded. “Sure, why not.”

  “Oh good. I’ll text her and see if she can fit you in this afternoon.” Edna lowered her voice in a conspiratorial whisper. “I’ll tell her it’s a bit of a fashion emergency. She loves a good challenge.”

  “Thanks. I think.” Holly nodded to the empty chair at their table. “Would you like to join us?”

  “Oh no. I don’t want to intrude on you girls. I’ll just sit over here and mind my own business. Don’t mind me at all.”

  Cassie rolled her eyes and smiled, obviously used to the sassy spirit of Edna. “Okay. Go back to your roots, got it. In more ways than one. So that one gets a double check.” Cassie always had been an overachiever. “What’s next on the list?”

  Holly groaned. The second task was much harder than a road trip and a new hairstyle. “Face Your Fears.”

  Her cousin nodded. Cassie had been the head of the PTA at her kid’s school three years in a row, and she was always up for a challenge. Unfortunately, this wasn’t like running a PTA committee. Holly’s problems couldn’t be fixed with a run down the call tree or a bake sale. “Okay, so what are you afraid of?”

  Ha. Everything. What was she not afraid of? She swallowed over the sudden lump in her throat. Her voice was barely a whisper as she tried to answer her cousin’s question. “I’m afraid of everything. I’m scared of moving on without him. I’m terrified of starting over. I’m scared that by me having a life, I’m not honoring his. And mostly I’m afraid if I stop thinking about him all the time, that I’ll forget him.”

  Cassie’s eyes filled with tears, and she squeezed Holly’s hand. “Oh, honey. You won’t forget him. He’s in your heart forever.”

  But that was the problem. Her heart was broken. Shattered and split. What if the memories of her husband spilled out through the cracks?

  “Okay,” Cassie said. “We need to break down the task. Make it more manageable. Let’s take one fear. And face one. Tell me one tangible thing you’re afraid of. Maybe something with your job or maybe something to do with Scott’s death.”

  She laughed. A hard, dry sound. “Well, since Scott died from getting bucked off a horse, I’d say I’m pretty afraid of horses now. I used to want to learn to ride. Scott was going to teach me. Now, I just get near one and I start to shake.”

  “Okay, that’s a good start. Let’s focus on that one. You know our niece, Piper, has been living with us since Barbara decided to run off and find herself.”

  Cassie’s sister, Barb, had always been the wild one, but after Piper’s dad died, she went off the deep end. Now that Holly had stood at the edge of the same cliff, she had more compassion for her cousin’s choices.

  “Anyway,” Cassie continued, “Piper took horseback riding lessons this summer, and her instructor was a really great guy. His name is Levi, and he’s got a ranch just north of town.”

  Levi? Why did that name have a familiar ring to it?

  “I can call him, and we’ll get you a lesson or two. Maybe he can start tomorrow. No time like the present. In fact, that will be my birthday present to you. How does that sound?”

  How did that sound? It sounded like her cousin was leading the Get Holly Healthy charge and she just needed to fall in line.

  Her back bristled at the idea of being pushed into the idea, but she knew Cassie was only trying to help. And it had been a long time since anyone had cared enough to want to help her. Besides, the way things were currently going wasn’t working, so she needed to do something to change.

  And it would fulfill one of the requirements of the freaking list. “All right. I’ll do it.”

  “Oh good. You’ll love it,” Edna said, leaning toward their table. “The ranch is beautiful and that Levi is one cute cowboy.”

  “I’m not looking for a cute anything. I just lost my husband.” Her breath quickened, and she was surprised at the flash of anger that Edna’s comment had caused. She shook her head. “Sorry.”

  Cassie looked into her eyes. “Holly, you didn’t just lose your husband. He died two years ago. It’s okay for you to start living again. Scott would want that.”

  It was hard to believe two years had passed. Two years. Seven hundred and thirty days. Seven hundred and thirty days of waking up, brushing her teeth, and making it through the day. Putting one foot in front of the other. Doing the basics to survive. Was this her life? Was this the life he would have wanted her to have?

  “What’s the third thing?” Cassie interrupted her musings.

  “Listen to Your Heart.”

  “And what’s your heart telling you right now?”

  Nothing. Remember it was broken. How could it tell her anything when it didn’t work anymore? The familiar ball of pain formed in her gut, and she felt her hand begin to tremble as a shiver ran through her.

  Cassie squeezed her hand again. “I think you need a hot chocolate. They make a great peppermint mocha here. Let me get you one.”

  “No, it’s okay,” she said, already pushing back her chair to stand. “I’ll get it.”

  She approached the counter and was surprised to see the barista was an older gentleman wearing a red polo, Christmas suspenders, and a nametag that read “Nick.”

  “Hello, Holly.” He grinned at her, his smile bright inside a long, bushy white beard. “What do you want for Christmas this year?”

  What did she want for Christmas? She wanted her life back. Her husband back. The man who made her chocolate chip pancakes and sang in the shower. But no amount of Christmas wishing would bring him back, so she would settle for a hot chocolate.

  “Just a peppermint mocha for now, please.” She watched him grab a red cup and write her name on the side. “Hey, how did you know my name?”

  “I heard you talking. And it sounds to me like you’ve been given some pretty good advice.” He smiled kindly at her. “Can you forgive an old man for eavesdropping?”

  Why not? An old lady had been eavesdropping for their entire conversation. Maybe she should take an ad out in the paper. Heartbroken widow seeks advice from the elderly. Anyone?

  What could it hurt? She’d been listening to her own counsel for the past two years and look where that had got her. Hobo clothes and a bad hairstyle. You couldn’t argue with split ends.

  “So what did you think?”

  “I think it’s good advice. Facing your fears can be hard. I know Levi, and he’s a fine man with a good heart. He can teach you to ride and then you can conquer at least one thing on your list. I think listening to your heart is going to be a little harder. I get the idea that you don’t trust yours right now, but even a broken heart still beats.”

  How did he know what she was thinking?

  He reached below the counter, pulled out a shiny gold bell hanging from a red velvet ribbon, and held it out to her. “Here. For you.”

  She took the bell, touched by his thoughtful gift. But when she shook it, there was no sound. She shook it harder, but still no sound. She dropped it in her coat pocket and shrugged, embarrassed to say that he had given her a faulty gift. “I think it’s broken.”

  Just like her heart. “Broken” seemed to be the theme of the day.

  “It’s a special bell. It’s got Christmas magic. You can only hear it when you listen with your heart. When you find yourself open to new possibilities. When your heart begins to heal, you’ll hear the bell.” He winked at her and busied himself with preparing her drink.

  “Thanks. For the cocoa and the bell.” She took the cup and marveled at the swirls of whipped cream with a tiny gingerbread cookie perched on top. This town really went all out for the holiday season. But Santa-inspired baristas dispensing holiday drinks and Christmas ma
gic was just too much.

  She took a sip of the frothy mixture as she sat back down across from Cassie.

  “That looks amazing,” Edna said. “Did you have some trouble getting it? Was the barista not making it quick enough for you?”

  Holly gave her a confused look. “No, he was fine.”

  “Then why did you keep ringing that dang bell?”

  Chapter Two

  The fresh snow crunched under her tires as Holly pulled into the Lazy G Ranch for her first horseback-riding lesson. She snuck a glance at herself in the review mirror, still surprised at her reflection and the way a new hairstyle and a little makeup had transformed her. Who knew mascara held such magic?

  She did a quick shake of her head, taking a secret pleasure in the way her freshly highlighted hair fell back into place.

  Looking through the window, she took stock of the ranch before her. A large barn sat in front of her, with corrals connected to it on either side. The yellow two-story farmhouse looked inviting, with a pair of rocking chairs on the wraparound porch, and an evergreen wreath hung on the front door.

  Stepping from the car, she breathed in the crisp air scented with pine. The ranch was well kept, and she spied three horses in the meadow near the barn. They looked harmless enough as they munched grass. She could do this.

  The sound of the barn door opening had her turning to see a yellow Labrador retriever wiggle through, followed by a tall cowboy. Her breath caught at the sight of him, his broad shoulders hunched forward as he cradled something small in his arms. She could see the top of a fuzzy head poking out of the flannel shirt it was wrapped in.

  “Hey there. You must be Holly. I’m Levi Garrett. Welcome to the Lazy G.” His deep voice, with just the hint of a slow drawl, sent a funny tingle of warmth through her.

  What the heck was that about?

  His last name brought back an old memory. Flickers of images: one night in high school, a party, the first time she’d got drunk, a stolen kiss. She shook her head with sensory overload, not able to grasp the memories and concentrate on the man before her. The man who smiled down at her and made her stomach do a tiny flip.